Day 45: Dana Watkins (my Valentine)


(Note: This is the first of several notes I’ll write about the most important person in my life.)

Dear Dana,

Love … Someone created this day so we might celebrate love.


Cards. Candy. Flowers. So much pressure to get things just right. There is no one else in the world for whom I’d walk inside a Victoria’s Secret store. It seemed a guy in there yesterday actually enjoyed a store assistant showing him all the latest panties and laced thinglets. “Oh, those are very nice,” I heard him say to the young 20-something. Seriously, dude? Eyes straight ahead and get me the *%#! out of here, was all I could think.  Breathe. I’m not a pervert. I’m not a pervert…

screen-shot-2017-02-14-at-4-12-37-amI knew you’d be just as happy if I wrote you a note on the back of a Wal-Mart receipt. But I went there because I love you. I really do love you.

I’m sorry you’re sick on Valentine’s Day. The bouillon cubes in hot water will have to do for our Valentine’s dinner. C’est la vie. We can celebrate soon enough.

There are some things I thought you should know on this day.

It is the privilege of my life being your husband. No one is more important. It was us in the beginning. It will be us in the end.

To use an old biblical term, it’s so nice being “equally yoked.” I can’t imagine experiencing life with someone who believes differently on all the important things.

screen-shot-2017-02-14-at-4-09-35-amAs a child, dreaming about you was my number one pastime. I’d often wonder about the future love of my life … where you were at that moment, what was the color of your hair, did you have freckles, what would it be like to feel the touch of your skin … You’re my dream come true.

One of the best feelings I’ve ever known is trust. Thank you for being the person I trust most.

Your capacity for love is the greatest I’ve ever seen. There’s no other person I know who exemplifies greater love toward people.

It’s my great fortune that you are happy in the simple things. Uncomplicated. Not passive. Without underlying motive. Transparent. Real.

screen-shot-2017-02-14-at-4-12-07-amA few days ago one of your old high school friends made this observation in something I’d written about you. “She’d walk to the ends of the earth with you,” he said. I hope you know it’s true for me as well. I am here to the end, and to eternity, and that’s a long time. Me and you.

Sometimes at night when you feel me reach over and touch your shoulder in bed, I’m just making sure you’re still there. I need to know you’re there.

It would’ve broken my heart and crushed my soul not to be your mate. If we’d never met, there would have always been a void.

But honestly, I think you already know all these things. I’m searching for something you don’t know after all these years. What can I tell you that I haven’t said before?


Because it’s your nature, you give me a lot of credit, much of which I don’t deserve. But when it comes to holding it all together, making it all as good as it is, maximizing everything about our relationship, it’s you. You’re the one who makes it this good. You sacrifice, stretch boundaries, and see things at the most intimate and important place they can be seen. You understand things that for most, would be misunderstood. I’m smart enough to know that. And I’m thankful for it.

You’re still the one.

I love you to the core of my soul.

Your Valentine,


5 thoughts on “Day 45: Dana Watkins (my Valentine)

  1. OMG Steve, this is Beautiful! I am so lucky to have met your wonderful wife, and even in that short amount of time, it was clear how loving and kind she is and how happy and compassionate a soul she has. She is as lovely on the outside as she is on the inside, and I was fortunate enough to be the recipient (along with Roni) of her generosity and her talent. I wear my headband/ear warmers with such delight, happy that I have something from such a beautiful woman and loving heart. And boy oh boy are you two a good looking couple! Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤


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